Invention is all in the name

In the late Seventies/early Eighties there was a grocery store concept known as "PLAIN LABEL". PLAIN LABEL generic canned goods were a step below store brands, and the contents of a can of CORN might be more salty liquid than kernels. PLAIN LABEL beer and light beer in their black on white cans were something of a sensation of minimalist aesthetic and low price.

EMPTY

As a young homeowner/parent without a penny to my name, I purchased TUNA and PUFFED RICE.

Just a hint of dandelions

Recently our esteemed governor has had some issues with a fantasy federal military plot to take over Texas. In the days of PLAIN LABEL beer we worried that grocery newcomer Albertsons was a front for a Latter Day Saints takeover of food sources. I kid you not.

It's all about the names now. Generic BEER does not have the same appeal as Saint Arnold Fancy Lawn Mower. The son formerly known as Woolly Mammoth reports when he first tasted an I.P.A. his tastebuds hollered, "grass clippings".

MIRAGE is the name coined by that former Woolly Mammoth son for his punchbowl concoction of pink grapefruit juice, gin, and Campari--an appropriate name both atmospheric and predictive of imbibers' mental state.

Did the Woolly Mammoth invent this recipe? Heavens to Betsy, no. My own pink grapefruit and gin concoction was variously known as the "Pinewood Bowl," the "Leaky Radiator," or the "Stranded Sunburn". Grenadine may or may not have been in the thermos. The impaired vehicle was the '61 Plymouth Sport Fury. Of course!

ELI WHITNEY is the name given by a Lunch Bunch alum to a poor college student punch of gin and "blue drink". BLUE DRINK is that pseudo-raspberry cotton candy econo fake juice well known to starving students. And therefore a punch made with cotton candy blue drink and gin was named for the inventor of the cotton gin. And, yes, it is nearly undrinkable!

Your challenge is to invent a punch or cocktail worthy of the name ROBERT FULTON. Let me know what you concoct.

© 2013-2015 Nancy L. Ruder