If you don't get your order in time for Christmas, it'll be my fault. I broke Amazon.
First I broke my cheapo immersion blender. It came all to pieces in the sweet potato hummus, which really needs more lemon juice and garlic than the recipe said.
So I ordered a tiny tot food processor. Then I ordered eight little stocking stuffers for a work gift exchange. Jeff Bezos thought it would be fun to combine the two orders in one very oversized packing box with a lot of bubble wrap. After bouncing back and forth a few times between Phoenix and Louisville, a delivery person managed to wedge the box into the Amazon hub locker in my neighborhood by crushing it a bit.
I could not budge the box to slide it out of the locker. So I ripped the visible end of the box apart to pull out my orders and a bunch of bubble wrap. Stuffed the bubble wrap back into the mangled box and slammed the locker shut. The touch pad screen for the locker hub started freaking out. It kept telling me in larger fonts to reenter my code and remove the contents of the locker.
So, if I can't bring down the whole grid, at least I can break Amazon! Sorry about your late order...
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