10/30/2013

Teeny Tiny Woman in a Poodle Skirt

Picked up two felt leaf-shaped placemats and two sets of felt leaf coasters while waiting for my prescriptions to be filled. Maybe a cog would jog into my brain for a Halloween costume. Got a couple tacky table decorations, too. The line was too long at the pharmacy so I took another stroll for a bottle of orange RIT dye. With enough RIT and hot glue I will be queen of the world someday.

But first we had to complete our teeny tiny pumpkin house art projects. The kids really got into this, jumpstarted by the little pumpkin house I carved with windows of different shapes. I thought I'd found the perfect carving pumpkin, as it had so very little slimy goo inside.

Stilt house with white bird



A toad was invited to the pumpkin house party.


A Dilbert-esque spider



I carved the pumpkin Sunday afternoon, taught the class Tuesday morning, and by Wednesday noon the pumpkin was full of white filaments of mold. The kids thought they were lace curtains in the windows. By Thursday morning it had disintegrated into a blob. Shortest lifespan I've ever encountered for a jack-o-lantern, but at least it didn't ooze into my kitchen cabinets!

 A 4 1/2 year old drew hinges on a door!
We came in peace for all mousekind.
Creaky squeaky staircase
Yellow submarine
Mid-Century Mouse Modern
Fiendish 24 Hour fitness center
Do squirrels work out? 

Just pondering a Gold's Gym inside a pumpkin while standing in the pharmacy checkout line next to all those giant jars of  Whey Body Protein Powder I couldn't help but remember Mark Twain aka Hal Holbrook telling the story "Who's got my golden arm?" If you can't remember Twain's essay about how to tell a humorous story you can find it here, and it might be the high point of your day.


I'd really wanted to be the Pale Green Pants for Halloween. That would have justified my misguided twelve dollar purchase of scary clearance expanding Amanda jeans. I struggle to zip them in the early morning, but by lunchtime they are riding below my hips. And me without my sagger boxers!

RIT on a probably priceless vintage petticoat


Raccoon plus tacky



Fall fairy leaf bling




The felt leaves are glued on the golden RIT petticoat. So are the pine cones, tacky berries, parachute cut-outs, ribbons, beads, and a few critters--raccoon, squirrel, hedgehog, ducks, monarch butterfly, turtle, spider. I'm set to be a fall flower fairy. I'll wear my mother's gold acorn earrings since I'm clearly nuts, and Ms. Janie's ginkgo pin for luck.



Suggest your caption

© 2013 Nancy L. Ruder

2 comments:

Kathleen said...

The fall fairy sounds lovely. I enjoyed all the pumpkins, even the decomposing one. (Whoa! What's that about?!)

Possible caption:

That's a turd trail coming out of my head so the bird can find its way home.

seana graham said...

I loved the kids drawings and have only delayed until I found a caption:

A rolling stone gathers no mice.