Asphyxiation by Bacon

Hmmm.  There could be worse ways to go, especially if there are crispy waffles drowning in syrup and whipped butter on the side.

Insects and breakfast don't often coincide, so the Living With Insects blog bacon post caught me by surprise. In this news season of drone warfare and NSA security weevils," human bot flies" sounds like another relevant comedy skit. But no! Human bot flies are the sort of thing you don't want to consider when insomnia holds you hostage at two a.m. Don't go to sleep without plenty of bacon and fingernail polish on your bedside table or bot fly larvae will drill down to your skull!

Been having enough bad dreams already without the bot flies. Rodents in my waking hours scurrying along the patio fence all weekend bore into my thoughts like fiendish flies. Indiana Jones and I don't like rats, so we went to Home Depot to get some bait traps and glue traps, a typical Sunday morning outing in suburbia...

Dang, now I'm feeling like a truly horrible human because a spotted gecko got stuck on the rat glue trap surface in the storage shed. How do we choose which living beings to honor and mourn, and which to drown under layers of bacon fat? Is the bot fly deserving of a long and bacon-less life? The pig? The rat? The gecko?

Maybe I should go with a bagel this morning. A Denny's Grand Slam doesn't sound so good.

© 2013 Nancy L. Ruder