Stepping stone fruit pizza

Bring a homemade dessert for the annual volunteer appreciation dinner said the memo. Argggg. I do appreciate our volunteers, and enjoy the projects the teens did for the garden. Their stepping stone creations make me smile. So maybe I could make a stepping stone dessert. After all, I bake about as well as I mix Quikrete! No results guaranteed.

The Pillsbury refrigerated sugar cookie dough recipe for fruit pizza is easy to find on Google. How hard can it be?

Go to grocery store. Forget customer reward keychain tag.
Pile into cart:
1 tube Pillsbury refrigerator sugar cookie dough $2.50
1 container fresh blueberries $3.00
1 container fresh raspberries $3.00
1 big container fresh strawberries $3.00
2 kiwi (or is it kiwis?) $1.00
8 oz. store brand cream cheese $2.25
1 jar apple jelly peach preserves $2.19

We will call that $17, but wait! My customer reward number has never been linked to my current phone number or my previous one. That's because I've had this number since right after Noah shooed all the animals off the ark.

Beg and plead with Billy the store manager to give me the reward card price. Go home exhausted.

Get up in the morning and discover total lack of pizza pan. Try forming cookie dough into a 12" circle on the backside of a cookie sheet. [This was not my best decision ever, and I don't know why I didn't just put the dough on the inside of the cookie pan.]

Bake as directed.

While waiting, beat cream cheese to a fluff with sugar, and search everywhere for the extract of vanilla to no avail. Wash fruit. Locate a Christmassy serving plate on the top shelf of the pantry. Shower and get ready for work.

Smell something burning.

Scrape baked-on cookie mess off racks and bottom of oven.

Return to grocery store with customer reward keytag:

1 tube refrigerated cookie dough $2.50
1 12" pizza pan $8.00
1 small bottle of vanilla extract $4.49

We will call that $15, so $32 so far. Bake a new cookie crust. Eat the reject for breakfast with black coffee while standing in a cookie crumb floor mess. This could be the high point of the day.

Peel and attempt to slice kiwi (or kiwis). One is too firm. One dissolves into a floppy mess onto shirt and floor. Change clothes. Let cookie dough crust cool completely, 30 minutes. Contemplate calling in sick and going back to bed. Arrange remaining fruit in a lovely stepping stonesque design. Brush top with peach preserves.
"Chill at least one hour." Me or the pizza?

Volunteer asking for recipe = priceless!


Note: This week I get to make an egg breakfast main dish for the entire Environmental Health department. Imagine the potential for mayhem...

© 2013-2015 Nancy L. Ruder