Auditioning for the role of Freddy

I have often sat through auditions before, but the pavement never featured a storm drain before. This Freddy role has several songs, including hits like:

Little Freddy, little Freddy,
There you are, there you are,
Swimming in your Plano creek,
swimming in your Plano creek,
Swimming away, swimming away.

(to the tune of Frere Jacques)

Then there's a rumba number, "Only Rain Down the Storm Drain." When I sing it while wearing my fish hat it's positively Carmen Miranda, tone deaf though I am.

That isn't necessarily a career impediment. Bill Shirley dubbed Freddy Eynsford Hill's big number for Jeremy Brett in the 1964 Hollywood "My Fair Lady".  Marni Nixon sang for Audrey Hepburn, as you trivia/crossword buffs know.

The role of Freddy the Fish has traditionally been played by a sponge cut in the shape of a fish. Trouble is, to the preschool audience Freddy looks like the side of a sponge, not a fish. Seinfeld and Elaine might say this sponge is not Freddy-worthy.

Hence the auditions for a new Freddy. They were held not in a drafty Off Broadway theater, but instead in an ancient 2 quart measuring cup. The first audition was a group of mini tropical fish party favors from US Toy, $3.19. They lacked authenticity and gravitas. Sure, they could carry a tune, but they just couldn't sell that Lonesome Dove Texas creek with Call, Deets, Gus, Jake Spoon, and Pea Eye.


Hoping my sons won't mind that I auditioned some Christmas ornaments given them by their Grandma Fritzi. As ornaments they were kind of weird. As Freddy they might stage a career comeback. They look real. They can tap dance. They have head shots and prepared solos.

Freddy audition #1

Freddy audition #2

Our judges include celebrities from "Dancing With the Gars" and "It's All About the Bass",

© 2013-2015 Nancy L. Ruder

1 comment:

seana graham said...

I like Sponge Freddy, but let's face it--he is no Sponge Bob Square Pants. I hope that One Fish, Two Fish or maybe Red Fish, Blue Fish will do the trick.